Prologue to a Twins Blog

Monday, September 14, 2009

Rules for Raising Twins

My husband learned a terrible lesson the hard way last night. He walked barefoot down the hall in the dark.

Without twins or kids, this wouldn't have been a big deal and definitely not something that warranted its own blog post. But, as you know we do have twins and the sad lesson that my husband learned last night is to never, ever walk around your house in the dark, especially barefoot. Why? Because you will step on their toys, trip over whatever they decide to leave around, and gravely hurt yourself in the process.

That's exactly what happened to my husband last night. He tripped over a wooden stepstool (my twin son put into the hallway after we had put him to sleep) and fell flat on his face. He thought he broke his toe, but after icing it we were grateful to find out that he did not. I highly doubt that my husband will forget to switch on the light anytime he wants to walk somewhere in the evening. Frankly, I'm surprised that he hasn't learned this lesson sooner since our twins are 4, but it is what it is.

This got me thinking about other rules for raising twins that I should share with soon-to-be-twins moms and dads and new twins moms and dads so here is a list I compiled for you.
  • Never, ever walk around your house barefoot in the dark. You are bound to hurt yourself.

  • Never, ever discuss private matters when the twins are awake, even if they are in another room because they truly do listen to you all the time. They will announce your deepest, darkest secret to the whole world with no regrets.

  • Never, ever let them help themselves to their own snacks. They will each take half of whatever is in the box leaving you with nothing.

  • Never, ever delay putting up all of the child safety devices. Matter of fact, get two different kinds of locks for each drawer or cabinet because between the two of them they will figure it out. Having two different locks will slow them down a little bit.

  • Never, ever try to explain that just because one twin gets something doesn't necessarily mean that the other twin gets something too. They won't understand and will make a huge scene in a store.

  • Never, ever think that you are just going to pick up the phone and have a nice, normal conversation with the person on the other end. The twins have an uncanny ability to know exactly when you pick up the phone and will proceed to scream at the top of their lungs or need your attention now until you get off.

  • Never, ever let the twins see you eat something yummy. They will want it immediately and devour it in its entirety. Learn to bring tasty treats and eat them in the laundry room, bathroom, or behind an open kitchen cabinet.

  • Never, ever announce that you are going to the bathroom to your twins. They will either want to keep you company in there or fight you for who gets to go first.

  • Never, ever pre-count how many hours you think you're going to be able to sleep that night. The twins will sense the anticipation and will make sure that they make up several times during the night.

So, what rules for raising twins and multiples would you like to add? What did I forget? Please leave a comment below. I'd love to hear from you.


  1. You pretty much touched on all the major ones I think. I've learned each of those the hard way of course. Just when I think I'm becoming a "seasoned parent", I realize I still have a lot to learn.

    You are SOO right about the child locks. The thing about twins is that they're always conniving with one another.

    Oh and speaking of conniving, if one twin is trying desperately to get your attention but has nothing really important to say and the other twin is nowhere in sight, you can pretty much bet something is going on. More than likely, the twin that you don't see is sneaking into something they shouldn't be sneaking into. It's amazing how they can act like they can't stand each other one minute and then the next minute they're totally covering for one another.

  2. LMFAO! I am beside myself with laughter right now. My twins are only 20 months along and I totally get the double lock thing and I so look foward to one desperately trying to get my attention while the other does a dirty deed. I so see that happening. I cannot explain to my husband the "twin thing." He just doesn't get it. Example: out to lunch, one twin is teething, upset, crying and to be removed from the table. While I'm outside with him, my husband is left to feed his twin, who was refusing to eat. I tried to explain to my husband that it was probably because his twin was upset. My husband CANNOT grasp this! lol Oh boy, do I have a long road to haul. Thanks for the article.

  3. Artificiallyawake (love the name by the way) - no kidding about the men! I wanted to write above "frankly I'm surprised that my husband hasn't figured this out sooner since my twins are 4 now."

    At 20 months, you have so much to look forward to! ; )

  4. I just realized I hadn't been by in a while! Love this post Shelby! SO true..
    How about Never, ever, think that silence is a good thing- it means that something very naughty is going on somewhere:)

  5. Hi Shelby, I know this is an old post, but I saw it recommended by you on TwinHappyJen's blog.

    I am taking notes on things to come especially the double lock tip. We recently purchased only one kind of lock, but now I know to get two. I have encountered the food one where they want whatever it is I'm eating even if it is the same thing they are having.

    Also I can relate to not being able to talk on the phone. I usually don't answer when the girls are awake unless it's family or close friends.

    Thanks for sharing!!

  6. Funny Stuff!

    I can so related to not letting them see you eat something yummy! I do most of my treat eating in front of the kitchen sink with my back to the room. :)